It’s International Self-Care Day, although isn’t this every day? Through my own journey I have learned, among a multitude of lessons, that focusing attention constantly on all of the external, where I could give to others in order to build connection and harmony left me feeling unfulfilled and perpetuated this viscous cycle of seeking external validation and acceptance. When really the only “approval” I needed was my own; when ultimately what I needed was to build and nurture that harmony and home within.
I would say the over-arching concept of self-care, truly, is the embodiment of vulnerability. If we are not willing to be vulnerable, if we are not willing to sit in the discomfort of it, we cannot begin to deepen our connection with self. We need to be able to feel the feelings, the full spectrum of them, in order to truly care for and nourish our self.
Self care or self preservation is not selfish as we have been conditioned to believe. We also have been conditioned to believe we need to earn it... earn love, earn acceptance, earn our worth. Our worth is our birthright. There is nothing we “need” to do to receive it. It is there waiting for us to embrace it; to embody it. We are worthy of love and worthy of loving and caring for our self. There’s nothing selfish about it. Our ego tells us that it is, through the feeling of fear... fear of rejection, fear in not belonging, fear of not enoughness, fear of ( you name it). It’s not selfish to simply accept that I am, you are, we are all enough, just as we are in this moment. We are all worthy.
Self-care is also not a list that is defined by someone else that you tick off as you complete. Self-care is personal; it’s private; it’s deepening your intimacy with your self. So it’s not important that you have a whole list of social media curated self-care strategies, but more importantly that you take the time for what fills you up, what lights you up, and what brings you joy and that you open up to allow in more opportunities for cultivating the highest version of YOU.
Self care, and true love of oneself, is about our personal development and growth, taking responsibility for our own energy, and walking towards a higher version of our self, one that’s constantly evolving. We need to take time to pour into ourselves in order to “pour out” to others in a healthy way. It is actually selfless in that it allows us to operate from our heart and our soul rather from our ego. It’s also a way for us to sink into intimacy with our self, and enjoy the fruits of our work, our healing, and become more WHOLE beings as a result.